Phận đồng tính trong trại giam nam

Dù được cán bộ trại giam bảo vệ nghiêm ngặt nhưng không ít lần Lan Anh phải khóc lóc van xin bạn tù vì bị tấn công, sàm sỡ đến sưng tấy ngực.

Một ngày cuối tháng 8, sau gần 4 năm ở trại giam, Lan Anh chụp vội chiếc mũ rộng vành màu tím hoa cà lên đầu khi cán bộ trại giam nói có người muốn gặp. Mái tóc thướt tha vừa được cắt ngắn nhưng gương mặt và cơ thể của Nguyên vẫn như phụ nữ.

Ngay từ khi được đưa vào trại giam Phước Hòa thuộc Tổng cục VIII (Bộ Công an) năm 2010, “kiều nữ” chuyển giới Lan Anh khiến các cán bộ công an tỏ ra lúng túng. Trại có khoảng 2.600 phạm nhân nam và thi thoảng cũng tiếp nhận những người đồng tính phạm tội, song Cao Phước Nguyên (tên thật của Lan Anh) là một trường hợp hiếm hoi bởi mái tóc dài đến thắt lưng, gương mặt, vòng một cùng giọng nói hoàn toàn là nữ.

Nguyên phải mang án 5 năm 6 tháng về tội Cướp giật và Trộm cắp tài sản. Ngày bị bắt, chia tay bạn trai trong nước mắt bởi Nguyên biết cuộc tình của hai người sẽ chấm dứt từ đây. “Đau buồn đành chịu bởi mình làm nên tội thì bị pháp luật trừng trị. Nhưng khi vào đến trại giam và biết trại toàn đàn ông, tôi mới thấm thía hơn về thân phận của mình. Thật không có gì khổ bằng mang cơ thể nữ mà lại phải sống chung đụng với những người đàn ông. Những người bị giam giữ lâu ngày vốn ít khi được tiếp xúc với nữ”, Nguyên nói.

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Cao Phước Nguyên được xem là phạm nhân nữ tính nhất trong trại giam nam Phước Hòa. Ảnh: Thiên Chương

Phát hiện mình muốn làm con gái từ khi còn nhỏ, đến năm 17 tuổi, Nguyên quyết định công khai giới tính của mình khi đi đặt túi ngực, để tóc dài, bơm silicon cho mông, bàn tay để mình trông không khác gì một quý cô. Cũng kể từ đó, gia đình và bạn bè không còn gọi là Cao Phước Nguyên mà chỉ gọi là Lan Anh như cách cô xưng hô với mọi người.

Nhớ lại những ngày đầu tiên vào trại, Lan Anh cho biết luôn cảm thấy bối rối trước những ánh nhìn như xuyên vào da thịt của những bạn tù trong phòng giam vốn chật hẹp nhưng có đến 60 người. “Người thì chọc tôi là pê đê, người nói lời khiếm nhã. Mấy ngày đầu tôi không dám tắm cũng không dám thay đồ vì sợ bị nhìn ngực. Muốn tắm phải đợi lúc mọi người tắm xong hết. Muốn thay quần áo cũng phải đợi khi không có ai”, phạm nhân chuyển giới 28 tuổi, nói.

Không dừng lại ở mức nhìn ngó trêu chọc, trong gần 4 năm tù không ít lần cô bị bạn tù quấy rối đến mức phải khóc lóc van xin. Cố quay người đi mỗi khi có ai đó nhìn, lẳng lặng tránh khi có người xáp lại gần nhưng cô vẫn không thể tránh khỏi.

“Cũng có người đàng hoàng nhưng không ít người bậy bạ. Nhiều lần tôi bị bạn tù sàm sỡ vào chỗ nhạy cảm. Phản ánh với cán bộ thì họ ngưng được một thời gian rồi lại đâu vào đấy. Đau lắm nhưng đành phải cắn răng chịu đựng”, Lan Anh nói và cho biết nỗi ám ảnh của cô là vào những ngày lễ tết, thời điểm giám thị dễ dãi hơn nên bạn tù thường “tấn công” cô. “Nhiều lần tôi bị họ làm bầm tím cả ngực”, Lan Anh kể.

Cũng nhiều lần cô ép mình bớt điệu để không lọt vào tầm ngắm của bạn tù nhưng không thay đổi được thực tế. “Đời tôi sinh ra là vậy rồi. Dù ở đâu tôi cũng muốn được là chính mình, được là con gái. Lao động trong trại mệt đến mấy nhưng mỗi ngày dành ít thời gian làm đẹp là tôi cảm thấy khỏe lại”, vừa nói Lan Anh vừa vuốt nhẹ mái tóc mới bị cắt ngắn.

Tỏ ra hào hứng khi nói về chuyện làm đẹp, Lan Anh cho biết nhờ cán bộ trại giam thông cảm cho hoàn cảnh mà cô vẫn có cơ hội để sống như một người đàn bà, dù trong hoàn cảnh tù tội. “Gia đình vào thăm, tôi thích nhất là được má mang cho mấy cây son, hộp phấn, bút vẽ chân mày và mấy cái áo ngực mới để thay”, cô nói.

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Rửa chén là một trong những công việc hàng ngày của Nguyên. Ảnh: Quốc Thắng

Bóp nhẹ bàn tay có những móng thon nhỏ được sơn màu đậm, Lan Anh tỏ vẻ trầm ngâm khi cho biết nhiều lần phải đến trạm y tế của nhà giam để điều trị những biến chứng do phần silicon bơm vào cơ thể đã hết hạn sử dụng. “Ở nhà toàn nằm nệm, vào đây nằm gạch, người tôi giờ hư hết rồi nhưng phải ráng chịu thôi. Ai biểu mình mang thân phận thế này chứ”, giọng nhỏ nhẹ, cô như nói với chính mình.

Do phạm nhân đặc biệt này lao động và có biểu hiện cải tạo tốt, sau một thời phân công may quần áo, thấy bất tiện trong việc khám xét cơ thể mỗi khi ra vào phân xưởng, cán bộ trại giam đã cho Lan Anh được phụ giúp bếp ăn của trại giam. Hiện, mỗi sáng cô cùng một vài người khác lo phần nấu nướng cho toàn bộ phạm nhân ở khu mình bị giam giữ. Buổi chiều không phải phụ bếp, cô được giám thị phân công quét dọn các buồng giam.

Nói về cuộc sống hiện tại cũng như những dự định cho tương lai, Lan Anh cho hay: “Chỉ mong những tháng ngày còn lại em được bình an, đừng ai chọc phá quấy rối. Lần này ra tù em dự định sẽ mở tiệm may quần áo hoặc làm nghề trang điểm để báo hiếu cha mẹ. Quyết không đi vào con đường tội lỗi”, Lan Anh nói.

Theo các cán bộ trại giam Phước Hòa, hiện không có khu giam riêng cho người đồng tính. Trên giấy tờ, các phạm nhân đồng tính vẫn mang giới tính nam nên vẫn phải giam cùng các phạm cùng giới tính. Thừa nhận tình trạng này dẫn đến không ít trở ngại cho phạm nhân và cả công tác quản lý, song mọi thứ phải thực hiện đúng theo quy định.

“Trước mắt đối với những trường hợp này, dù không có khu giam riêng nhưng chúng tôi cũng thấu hiểu hoàn cảnh của họ và luôn làm mọi cách để các phạm nhân được đối xử một cách tốt nhất, an toàn nhất”, một cán bộ cho biết.

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